Posts by Pierced Angel

50

I FEEL SO USED

by Serena in

i have been "fooling around" with brother charlie for a couple months.

going to his apartment and spending the night with him.

i am so in love with him, i would do anything for him, anything at all.

Hey, hang in there. He is taking advantage of you, even if he thinks he's just sharing some intimacy with a beautiful woman that feels the same way when obviously it means more to you. You do deserve more than that, but he's selfish and not taking into account (or just doesn't care) that he is putting your mental and emotional health in jeopardy.
Try to get out of this relationship before it really damages your self esteem. No man is worth that. If he's ever going to be the man of your life he'll do what he has to do to get you back. If not, oh well. You can find a lot better, just look at some of the sweethearts on this board. There are mature men out there, don't settle for a man that is pulling your strings like this. Don't make it so easy for him to ignore your needs. You're fulfilling his, but what about yours?

I've had recent experience and the pain is enormous and overwhelming. I hope you can get out of it and get over it soon. The pain goes away when you make the break and have some sort of closure. You're stronger than you think and better things (relationships) cannot happen until you dump this bozo.

Anne

17

Enabling - Good or Bad

by indireneed in

jw
friends

i've got a bit of a question, or maybe a poll .

.. my wife is a jw and i am not.

that pretty much sums up or life.

Pierced Angel

Starting my own business, meeting interesting, energetic, ambitious businesspeople, becoming successful at my work, gaining confidence in skills other than being a witness, this is what made me start having doubts in the religion.

So, making it easy for her to not work is not something I would recommend. Stress from a job that is just "a job" isn't the answer either. She needs POSITIVE distraction that will help her open her eyes to the negativity of her religion and so called friends. If she has a skill, talent or love of something that she could develop, you might want to encourage that somehow. Mine was writing and the thrill of being published the first time made me hungry for more of that. I had confidence for once in my life and it seemed that the friends at the hall thought I was becoming a lover of the world. Well, hell yeah!

Good luck,
You never know how quickly the WT glow can fade for her, so hang in there a little while longer.

take care,

Anne

20

Past my prime and now I'm tired

by Jo in

jw
friends

ok, so i became a jw when i was in my mid 20's.

i was in my prime.. i was so busy being a witness, taking in the truth, pioneering bla bla bla that i feel like i've missed out on life totally.

now i'm pushing 40 and i'm tired.

Pierced Angel

I know how you're feeling. It's scary because sometimes I feel out of control and so selfish. I want to experience the world and I feel trapped in the Midwest, mediocrity and a somewhat mundane relationship with my husband. I just recently had a brief relationship with a man that made me feel young again. We actually broke it off before anything too serious because I didn't want my husband to find out and leave me right now. I just couldn't take it if that happened. But, I did and still do feel a strong desire to be a little wild, do things I never did before and just live life more fully. I know, it's not like having an affair is something to make life more meaningful. Not at all. But, it's the state I've been in and I'm feeling so restless.
I'm going to learn how to rollerblade or ski this year. I think that might be a more reasonable way to make life more fun. I hope you find somehting positive to make you happy too.

Anne

49

DA'd myself today

by Pierced Angel in

jw
friends

well, i did it.. it's official and i'm relieved.. the elders wanted to try talking to me once again, but after awhile it was obvious that they were only interested in changing my thoughts not answering any questions.

so, i just calmly asked if i could disassociate myself.

they acted stunned and they got tears in their eyes, but i told them that i had already grieved and was ready to move on with life.

Pierced Angel

Thanks Peter,

I'm going to do what I can to make it, I really want to be there!

Anne

53

Who Wants A Christmas Card?

by Englishman in

jw
friends

i want to send lots of christmas greetings cards this year.

i especially want to send a card to dozens of posters from this site.

i suppose the obvious answer is that folks email me with an address.

Pierced Angel

That sounds jolly good!

I can't wait. I was just getting ready to get some cards and addresses together.
I'm from Michigan and anyone that sends me their address to my email,
[email protected] will get some Christmas treats. I'm a food writer and I'm making a ton of Christmas candy.

Merry Christmas,

Anne

49

DA'd myself today

by Pierced Angel in

jw
friends

well, i did it.. it's official and i'm relieved.. the elders wanted to try talking to me once again, but after awhile it was obvious that they were only interested in changing my thoughts not answering any questions.

so, i just calmly asked if i could disassociate myself.

they acted stunned and they got tears in their eyes, but i told them that i had already grieved and was ready to move on with life.

Pierced Angel

Thanks for the encouragment!

It's been a real rollercoaster trying to get a handle on it all.
The freedom of being out from under that control after all these years has been bittersweet at least so far. I want to do too many things!

Slip-It feels great to use my real name. It's a pretty common name though, my nickname since birth is, get this, LIZA. There, now anyone that thought they might know who I am knows for sure now!

You guys are awesome as a support group. I hope to meet some of you soon in Toronto or elsewhere.

Anne aka Liza

12

Celebrating 1st Year of Freedom

by individuals wife in

jw
friends

well, i've made it through the first year!

one year out and still surviving - despite the fact that they said i would come crawling back with my tail between my legs!!.

i cant believe a year could go by so fast and also that you could achieve so much.

Pierced Angel

Congratulations!

I can't wait till I can say the same. I hope you celebrate big time!

Anne

49

DA'd myself today

by Pierced Angel in

jw
friends

well, i did it.. it's official and i'm relieved.. the elders wanted to try talking to me once again, but after awhile it was obvious that they were only interested in changing my thoughts not answering any questions.

so, i just calmly asked if i could disassociate myself.

they acted stunned and they got tears in their eyes, but i told them that i had already grieved and was ready to move on with life.

Pierced Angel

Thank you, all of you, your comments have made it much easier today.
I wish I had been at that talk with the elder Richie, sounds like quite the moment. Once you reach that point, there's just not much you can do, you have to face your demons I guess.
I didn't realize all the stress this has caused me and even my marriage until today. It's been creating an early "mid-life" crisis kind of feeling with me, including that temptation to have an affair (I ended it before it got started, thankfully).
I feel an incredible freedom and relief and yes, I have been sort of discouraged about anything to do with the Bible so I guess throwing the baby out with the bathwater has been on my mind. I'm not giving up on Jesus that easy though. I just don't think I'll be running off to any other religion anytime soon.
What finally made it easier was that I visited a couple "friends" this week and I realized they just weren't my real friends. They only care when I make meetings and field service. Not that I've always been one to call people and put time aside for them, but when someone's been away for several months, you'd think they would have called or stopped by to find out why, wouldn't you?

Thanks everyone, you're all real Christians in my book.

Anne

49

DA'd myself today

by Pierced Angel in

jw
friends

well, i did it.. it's official and i'm relieved.. the elders wanted to try talking to me once again, but after awhile it was obvious that they were only interested in changing my thoughts not answering any questions.

so, i just calmly asked if i could disassociate myself.

they acted stunned and they got tears in their eyes, but i told them that i had already grieved and was ready to move on with life.

Pierced Angel

Well, I did it.
It's official and I'm relieved.
The elders wanted to try talking to me once again, but after awhile it was obvious that they were only interested in changing my thoughts not answering any questions. So, I just calmly asked if I could disassociate myself. They acted stunned and they got tears in their eyes, but I told them that I had already grieved and was ready to move on with life. There was a lot more said, but I'm exhausted just thinking about it.
I even told my mom who thinks I just need to get my life organized so that I can have more time to study and get back to serving Jah soon. At least she didn't act like she'd shun me.

Thanks for the support, information and honest feelings/stories on this forum. It's been a tremendous aid for my leaving the cult.

I'm sort of feeling exhausted and blue, but I think I'll celebrate with some wine and a good movie tonight.

Cheers,

Anne

15

"Real Friends" - the Greatest Watchto...

by metatron in

jw
friends

my daughter taught me an important lesson a couple.

years ago.

df'd.

Pierced Angel

These accounts are so helpful, thank you.

Every now and then, when I start having doubts about leaving the trooth, I come here and read what some of you have to say and posts like these just bring back memories and feelings that obviously are not as rare as I once believed.
It just reinforces that it wasn't just "me" and that it was hard to make "real" friends at the hall. I always felt like I had to be on guard about what I said or did around a lot of the other witnesses and with real friends, you don't have to.

Yet, we're told not to let people stumble us or the lack of love affect our dedication to Jehovah. They have to constantly remind through talks that we are the happiest people on Earth and that we are recognized by our love for each other. I'm not formally disfellowshipped yet, but I know it's coming soon. One thing that touched me and hurt me today was when I took my son to school. As I passed two witness children in the hallway, they waved and smiled at me and I know that they will soon have confused feelings about me. I used to have parties and fun times for the kids all the time and they will be told that I'm an apostate. I remember how I felt about "apostates" when I was a kid. It made me feel so sad for them. I hope they remember how much I tried to make their lives a little more enjoyable. It didn't hit me until today how much their impression of me meant.